I thought about being too small for so much, but that no one told you when you were big enough … and I asked God if he please couldn’t take my brother Matthies instead of my rabbit. ‘Amen.’

Jas lives with her devout farming family in the rural Netherlands. One winter’s day, her older brother joins an ice skating trip; resentful at being left alone, she makes a perverse plea to God; he never returns. As grief overwhelms the farm, Jas succumbs to a vortex of increasingly disturbing fantasies, watching her family disintegrate into a darkness that threatens to derail them all.

A bestselling sensation in the Netherlands by a prize-winning young poet, Marieke Lucas Rijneveld’s debut novel lays everything bare. It is a world of language unlike any other, which Michele Hutchison’s striking translation captures in all its wild, violent beauty. Studded with unforgettable images – visceral, raw, surreal – The Discomfort of the Evening is a radical reading experience that will leave you changed forever.



Amazon – 99p


A book that has been shortlisted for the Booker International Prize 2020.

This is a story that will not be for everyone! It is dark, disturbing, unsettling, often graphic -and I found myself to be totally captivated by the voice of Jas who narrates her story. And it’s a tragic one she has to tell.

She lives with her family – a very simple, farm life in Holland – with the father always out working with the cows, the mother deep in religious thought and actions – and the children seem to discover the world through one another and through friends. The world can be a very black and white world through the eyes of a child. But when tragedy strikes and her brother dies, you watch as the family fall apart in their own different ways. And all Jas can do is watch on, when all she wants is a comforting hug and a grown up to tell her everything is going to be ok.

This is a savage portrayal of a grieving family – the mother is fading away in front of her family as she’s unable to process the loss, the father throws himself more into his work, – and all Jas can wonder is who will she lose next? Being brought up with religion at the fore, she is aware that for every action there is a reaction, for the good there is a bad – it’s the childish interpretation of understanding how the world works that was the strongest message for me throughout this book. There’s a lot of innocence in the discussions that Jas and her siblings/friends have – lots of ‘toilet’ talk! – and learning about growing up and all that entails.

There is a shock value with this book with the way that some of the storyline is explored, but I think that just adds to the heartbreak of what this little girl has been through and shows the effects of grief on a wilder scale. Tragedy keeps striking her family, so she has to look for comfort elsewhere as the outside world seems too harsh and bleak for her, and I was staggered by the ending, which just made the story all that more poignant and gut wrenching for me.

It’s often unpleasant, it’s troubling but makes for an absolutely compelling and absorbing read. 



#BookReview #20BooksOfSummer Book 1 – The Birds of the Innocent Wood by Deirdre Madden

First book has been read! And was it one on my original list?! NO, of course it wasn’t!! I went browsing in the library and spotted this one and couldn’t resist it for the ‘little’ side of my reading challenge!  So here’s more about the book, and my thoughts!


When James proposes, it seems like an opportunity for Jane to leave her lonely past behind and become part of a family. But the presence of a woman in the cottage near their remote farmhouse threatens Jane’s new-found happiness.

This compelling novel by one of Ireland’s finest writers won a Somerset Maugham Award.

‘Madden’s achievement is to make partial revelations about obscure lives as gripping as a thriller. Her style is passionate, emotional, but never obvious and does not admit a single cliche or badly written sentence.’ Observer (less)

Published by Faber & Faber


For a little book (only 148 pages), there is so much going on in this story that I found it totally absorbing, atmospheric, dark and dramatic and really enjoyed every single page, even if it was often very depressing! I found the way that the author split the story worked brilliantly and allowed you to take on board the way that the actions of others impacted on those closest to them. The exploration of family, loneliness and dealing with loss was superbly dealt with and allowed you to feel the pain of each of the characters.

The story starts with Jane who was an only child and very poorly, and while she was in hospital she tragically lost both parents. When well enough to leave hospital she goes to live with her aunt who isn’t interested in the young girl in the slightest and packs er off to a convent boarding school at the age of 5. She settles into this way of life quite quickly and developes a very strong faith which is shaken as the years go by. She then settles into a routine life working in an office where she meets James – two lonely souls brought together by desperation to escape their lives.

We then hear from Sarah and Catherine, 2 sisters who we learn are Jane’s daughters, and their stories of how their lives turned out after their mother’s dies. It’s clear that they have both been affected by how they grew up and it is fascinating to see their different personalities emerge and how the loss of others seems to hang over them all.

The chapters chop and change from different timelines as we go back to look at Jane’s life, alongside events that are troubling her daughters and I loved being shocked by the misery that kept befalling them in various guises. 

It’s definitely not a cheery read but there’s so much going on that packs a punch and I’m fascinated to read more from this author as I’d not heard about her before and intrigued to see how she approaches different subjects!